That Smith

Josh was kind enough to send us the speech he gave at the reception. Here it is for those of you who were unable to attend. Also included is a poem he decided not to recite.

Chad’s Best Man Speech ~ 9/23/06

Ladies and Gentlemen for an occasion such as this, I would like to thank you all for coming to celebrate the marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Chad and Laura Smith. Someone once told me a best man’s speech should last as long as the Groom makes love… (yep that would be about right)Thank you ladies and gentlemen for coming!

For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Josh and besides being the Best Man, I’m also his slightly older, better looking, and much wiser brother. See I’ve known Chad well before he developed that receding hair line.

I would like to thank Chad for asking me to be his best man today. Really its an honor to be asked and a pleasure to fulfill the role, and finally for him to admit after all these years that I am indeed the better best man.

I would like to congratulate the mom’s wow how proud you both must be and hey in another few hours you be will able to celebrate that you actually pulled it off. And Mom, I’m sure you can’t wait until the day newlyweds buy there own washer and dryer.

I would also like to congratulate the happy couple and say that Laura, you look absolutely great. Chad - you clean up better than many of us imagined.

Actually everybody hear looks great today and I’m a wee bit peeved that you all copied my outfit. Perhaps I should have taken my wardrobe tips from Chad and purchased mine eBay.

For those of you that don’t know, Chad was born June 3, 1983. I tried to link this to some major world event, but it seems that nothing really happened on that day, Friday, June 3, 1983. I searched the internet and the only remotely interesting person I found that shared the same the same month and day with Chad was Anderson Cooper. I did however learn that Madonna’s 1st album hit number one in 1983. I also learned that cabbage patch kids were the number one selling item in 1983. And yes even I must admit that I too had a cabbage patch doll. Mine was Maynard. But I later gave that up for a little brother. Yep, I must admit raising a brother is a lot of work. He was also a slow starter. Yep at daycare, we knew he was different that the other kids they were 3, he was 7! But things quickly changed. I can remember when my alarm use to go off in the mornings… I also remember Chad listening for my alarm and he always knew I picked out my clothes before I headed off to the shower. He would beat my 3 out of the 5 days of the week to the bathroom. The downside about taking a shower second - besides the obvious you would run out of hot water but breakfast by then was cold. You know I never could figure out WHY Chad had to use 3 towels every morning.

At 13, he began taking math classes at the same high school as me. The only difference though, Chad was a 7th grader. Chad also began an apprenticing at Snow Creek, where he taught ski and snow board lessons. But we won’t say exactly what year to he began to protect his innocence. In fact, Chad and several others in this room today were the men of midnights. Perhaps that’s why it often seemed like he was more nocturnal than most of his friends.

At 16, he was the only one I knew who didn’t make his parent take him out the next day for a drivers license. In fact as I recall, he waited more than a month!

At 19, Chad furthered his education at JCCC where he enrolled in their two-and-a-half year associates program. There he became a member of the Wednesday film club where he made popcorn. He was a member of the student activities committee. He was very much qualified and respected from by his coworkers and other personnel among the college. Then he moved on to Emporia where he is today, finishing his bachelors and started planning his new life with Laura.

Okay enough about Chad�..

Chad, I would like to say, In Laura, you have found someone that is smart, funny and loving. And Laura, you have found (uhh) Chad.

In all seriousness though, Chad you’ve been a brilliant brother, the master first of Zelda on Nintendo and yes even still today my technical advisor for computer problems. You’ve been a great friend to me over the years… It’s been an honor to be your best man today, and with all my heart I hope you two have a long and happy marriage together!

You’re a lucky man; Laura is a great catch and deserves a good husband. Thank god you married her before she found one.

Before I ask you all to join me in a toast to the happy couple and before I make myself more acquainted with Eric’s bottle of Jack, I’d like to offer each of you some advice:

• I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.
• Success in a marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
• Marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the only exception being closet space.
• May all your ups and downs come only in the bedroom.
• Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it.

Now then, it gives me great pleasure to ask all of you to raise your glasses:
Here’s to the new bride and groom. May each of you enjoy a long happy life together and remember to love, honor and negotiate.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The new Mr. and Mrs. Chad and Laura Smith!

Dr. Seuss Poem

Pastor: Will you answer me right now
These questions, as your wedding vow?Groom: Yes, I will answer right now
Your questions as my wedding vow.
Pastor: Will you take her as your wife?
Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife,
Yes, I’ll love her all my life.

Pastor: Will you have, and also hold
Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold,
Just as I have at this time told,
Yes, I will love her all my life
As I now take her as my wife.

Pastor: Will you love through good and bad?
Whether you’re happy or sad?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love through good and bad,
Whether we’re happy or sad,
Yes, I will have and I will hold
Just as I have already told,
Yes, I will love her all my life,
Yes, I will take her as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love her if you’re rich?
Or if you’re poor, and in a ditch?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her if we’re rich,
And I will love her in a ditch,
I’ll love her through good times and bad,
Whether we are happy or sad,
Yes, I will have, and I will hold
(I could have sworn this has been told!)
I promise to love all my life
This woman, as my lawful wife!

Pastor: Will you love her when you’re fit,
And also when you’re feeling sick?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love her when we’re fit,
And when we’re hurt, and when we’re sick,
And I will love her when we’re rich
And I will love her in a ditch
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold
Ten years from now a thousandfold,
Yes, I will love for my whole life
This lovely woman as my wife!

Pastor: Will you love with all your heart?
Will you love till death you part?

Groom: Yes, I’ll love with all my heart
From now until death do us part,
And I will love her when we’re rich,
And when we’re broke and in a ditch,
And when we’re fit, and when we’re sick,
(Oh, CAN’T we get this finished quick?)
And I will love through good and bad,
And I will love when glad or sad,
And I will have, and I will hold,
And if I might now be so bold,
I’ll love her my entire life,
Yes, I WILL take her as my wife!

Pastor: Then if you’ll take her as your wife,
And if you’ll love her all your life,
And if you’ll have, and if you’ll hold,
From now until the stars grow cold,
And if you’ll love through good and bad,
And whether you’re happy or sad,
And love in sickness, and in health,
And when you’re poor, and when in wealth,
And if you’ll love with all your heart,
From now until death do you part,
Yes, if you’ll love her through and through,
Please answer with these words:

Pastor and Groom: I DO!

Pastor: You’re married now! So kiss the bride,
But please, do keep it dignified.